So there we are, having dinner at chez BB. Myself looking dapper in my brand new Zorro outfit, Mrs BB in her Victorian ball gown and our offspring with wife and our granddaughter of 14 months. There we are quite merrily tucking in to an illegal we found hiding in the wood shed, when young BB announced they were turning vegan!!! I was gobsmacked!
Helga dropped some plates, Mrs BB went in to a high state of delerium, and I had a panic attack! Even the dog went and lay down.
When I'd recovered my senses and Mrs BB had stopped me from plunging a fork in to his bonce I explained in no uncertain terms what was going to happen.
I shall be phoning social services, explaining that they are unfit parents, are drug dealers, money launderers, dabble in the occult, gun runners and my daughter in law is indeed a prostitute from St Petersburg and quite possibly responsible for the novochock episodes in this country.
That they are responsible for the delta variants of COVID by concocting vegan slop out of a rat house in biggleswade and selling it on the black market to a fish House in Wuhan.
I shall be asking that their house be reduced to rubble and that the death penalty be reinstated on the grounds of our granddaughter being subjected to such heinous crimes as poisoning, malnutrition and torture.
And finally that my son is not mine at all, but is indeed a terrorist a BLM activist called Trayvon from Atlanta and is planning on a mass shooting at a old people's home in Luton.
I am open to most things ( as some will have already realised) but this I'm afraid is a step too far my compadres!
These abominations must be stopped immediately my learned friend. I was so saddened to hear of your plight I've just eaten next door's Welsh Terrier raw.
Naturally you've disowned the cad and I suggest you contact the NSA across the pond to tell them his real name is Mahmood Al Muktim and is actually an Iranian zealot bent on the assassination of Sleepy Joe. Life in a Supermax, although too good for him, must be the punishment, after some water-boarding of course.
Veganism is right up there in the evils of the planet, almost on a par with supporting the victims.
palerider wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:58 pm
These abominations must be stopped immediately my learned friend. I was so saddened to hear of your plight I've just eaten next door's Welsh Terrier raw.
Naturally you've disowned the cad and I suggest you contact the NSA across the pond to tell them his real name is Mahmood Al Muktim and is actually an Iranian zealot bent on the assassination of Sleepy Joe. Life in a Supermax, although too good for him, must be the punishment, after some water-boarding of course.
Veganism is right up there in the evils of the planet, almost on a par with supporting the victims.
I knew I could count on you Mon Ami.
It goes without saying I've administered a sound thrashing, fed him a dozen big Mac's washed down with 2 gallons of Jim Beam and made him watch while Svetlana slaughtered a herd of sheep.
Veganism is indeed as you say the devil's work and must be stamped out.
The table next to us was occupied by a younger couple and the girl asked for a vegetable pathia.
Two bottles of Cobra poured over her followed by a swift slap, after I shot her fella for daring to object, and hopefully she'll have seen the error of her ways.
palerider wrote: ↑Sun Oct 17, 2021 4:46 pm
I went out for a curry last night in Benfleet.
The table next to us was occupied by a younger couple and the girl asked for a vegetable pathia.
Two bottles of Cobra poured over her followed by a swift slap, after I shot her fella for daring to object, and hopefully she'll have seen the error of her ways.
Mumtaz?
Fuck Off Sully, Brady, Moyes. Killing this club by death from a thousand cunts.
palerider wrote: ↑Sun Oct 17, 2021 4:46 pm
I went out for a curry last night in Benfleet.
The table next to us was occupied by a younger couple and the girl asked for a vegetable pathia.
Two bottles of Cobra poured over her followed by a swift slap, after I shot her fella for daring to object, and hopefully she'll have seen the error of her ways.
That's the way Mon Ami.
I was in Greggs earlier on today, when a young mung bean molester asked for a vegan sausage roll. I immediately gave him the four fingered lunge to his wind pipe, followed by a bond chop to the nape of the neck rendering the young paedophile unconscious.
palerider wrote: ↑Sun Oct 17, 2021 4:46 pm
I went out for a curry last night in Benfleet.
The table next to us was occupied by a younger couple and the girl asked for a vegetable pathia.
Two bottles of Cobra poured over her followed by a swift slap, after I shot her fella for daring to object, and hopefully she'll have seen the error of her ways.
That's the way Mon Ami.
I was in Greggs earlier on today, when a young mung bean molester asked for a vegan sausage roll. I immediately gave him the four fingered lunge to his wind pipe, followed by a bond chop to the nape of the neck rendering the young paedophile unconscious.
One less to worry about my good man.
Keep up the good work my learned friend.
I managed to capture a hippie freak in Taunton who asked for a tofu kebab. I chloroformed him when he got off the park and ride and is now bound and gagged in the garage.
He'll be burnt in the Wicker Man I've made on the top of Cadbury Hill on bonfire night as an offering to the Great God Lord Chipolata, peace be upon him, as I and my fellow carnivores dance naked around the flames chanting 'Aaaaah, bisto'.
That's the way Mon Ami.
I was in Greggs earlier on today, when a young mung bean molester asked for a vegan sausage roll. I immediately gave him the four fingered lunge to his wind pipe, followed by a bond chop to the nape of the neck rendering the young paedophile unconscious.
One less to worry about my good man.
Keep up the good work my learned friend.
I managed to capture a hippie freak in Taunton who asked for a tofu kebab. I chloroformed him when he got off the park and ride and is now bound and gagged in the garage.
He'll be burnt in the Wicker Man I've made on the top of Cadbury Hill on bonfire night as an offering to the Great God Lord Chipolata, peace be upon him, as I and my fellow carnivores dance naked around the flames chanting 'Aaaaah, bisto'.
Perfectly normal in my book my good fellow.
I've had one chained up in the cellar since July. I plan to spit roast the inbred and offer him up to the kids when they come trick or treating.
