Hammers Chat

Raven wrote: ↑Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:31 pm Okay, this is hugely embaressing, and to this day I cringe with the painful memories.

I had a bit of a dodgy tummy, but insisted on taking on the train trip to Bristol( fuckng game was eventually postponed).

I realised before I even stepped off the underground that my sphincter was gonna let me down at some point. Anyway, had a crafty shit at the bogs at Bethnal Green and then proceeded with a confident and purposeful stride (I now know that it was a false sense of security).

My somewhat confident stride was very misleading, Before I knew it I had shit covered croutons seeping ( creeping) out of my aresehole area.

Although I Managed to find sanctuary at the bogs in Paddington, the damage was well and truely done at that point.

Shit, shit, shit, how on earth am I gonna recover this shit fuck of a situation? No worries, I bought a pair of underpants from some poncy store at Paddington ( only to subsequently discover that they were in fact knickers....felt nice though).

Nearly Shit myself three times on the journey to Bristol Parkway, but at least the bog was close to hand.

This has been a very carthtic experience.

Newmarket wrote: ↑Thu Feb 23, 2023 3:30 pm Blimey this is an old one

Optimistic Lee wrote: ↑Sun Feb 26, 2023 2:30 am A good friend and colleague once recalled her most embarrassing moment during her first experience as an Army Reservist para medic. The squad were on exercise in some godforsaken place in Wales when her first casualty occurred. Some poor chap had smacked his hand with a mallet whilst hammering in his tent pegs. He had a slightly bleeding and bruised hand…..bless him. Anyway, my overzealous
(By her own admission) friend decided to take control of this ‘Red Alert’ emergency. She told the ‘incapacitated’ person to stay in situ and began the onward uphill 250 yard stomp to the medical tent with the intention of returning with a First Aid kit. Within a few feet of stomping up the hill her dormant gases were awoken and she started to let rip with gay abandon…….she found this “quite satisfying”. she quickly began to realise at the time that she could fart to order.

She then proceeded to to set herself with a challenge to stride vigorously and punctuate ‘God Save the Queen’ with a well timed fart. On arrival, she was knackered and ‘out of gas’. She momentarily slumped into the medical tent for a moment of respite. Seconds later she heard “hey farty arse can you get us back down the hill any quicker.? Much to her horror, she realised that the ‘casualty’ had decided to follow her up the hill.

True story