Home secretary Priti Vacant is finally talking tough. She's planning to turn the boats back mid-channel.
Her Frog counterpart Jean Luc Pate de Foie Gras isn't keen and has said France won't accept them.
This is clearly an international incident and as someone who loves the French and who's spent many a sordid evening on the Boulevard de Clichy I'd like to step in and offer a peaceful solution.
Obviously the sight of 1000 asylum seekers wading ashore at Boulogne would make France surrender immediately, just like 1940, which would be hugely embarrassing so to save face I propose a weekly migrant water polo tournament.
The sponging cunts can be escorted into UK waters. Then the Royal Navy can ram them back into French waters, who would then do the same. for each of the fuckers that falls overboard it's one point scored. As added interest, bull sharks can be introduced to the channel.
The match lasts until the dinghies are empty and the scores are tallied up. It can be called the Raghead Cup.
It could even gain olympic status in the future.
I'm a fucking diplomat me.