Hammers Chat

palerider wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 8:20 am Lady Pale sadly lost her Dad at the weekend and has gone back north to where they eat babies to sort out Sir Rupert's estate and evict all the serfs. She reckons she'll be gone for a month which is all very nice but what does a chap do to offload in the meantime ?

Has anyone ever tried dating sites ?

There's one now for over 50's. Does that mean both participants or just me ?

And how does 'Dirty Old cunt seeks bint who scrubs up well in her 30's for month-long boning and is comfortable with ironing' sound ?

Or should I be more honest ?

palerider wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 8:20 am Lady Pale sadly lost her Dad at the weekend and has gone back north to where they eat babies to sort out Sir Rupert's estate and evict all the serfs. She reckons she'll be gone for a month which is all very nice but what does a chap do to offload in the meantime ?

Has anyone ever tried dating sites ?

There's one now for over 50's. Does that mean both participants or just me ?

And how does 'Dirty Old cunt seeks bint who scrubs up well in her 30's for month-long boning and is comfortable with ironing' sound ?

Or should I be more honest ?

palerider wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 8:20 am Lady Pale sadly lost her Dad at the weekend and has gone back north to where they eat babies to sort out Sir Rupert's estate and evict all the serfs. She reckons she'll be gone for a month which is all very nice but what does a chap do to offload in the meantime ?

Has anyone ever tried dating sites ?

There's one now for over 50's. Does that mean both participants or just me ?

And how does 'Dirty Old cunt seeks bint who scrubs up well in her 30's for month-long boning and is comfortable with ironing' sound ?

Or should I be more honest ?

palerider wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 8:20 am Lady Pale sadly lost her Dad at the weekend and has gone back north to where they eat babies to sort out Sir Rupert's estate and evict all the serfs. She reckons she'll be gone for a month which is all very nice but what does a chap do to offload in the meantime ?

Has anyone ever tried dating sites ?

There's one now for over 50's. Does that mean both participants or just me ?

And how does 'Dirty Old cunt seeks bint who scrubs up well in her 30's for month-long boning and is comfortable with ironing' sound ?

Or should I be more honest ?

Dwayne Pipes wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 1:15 pm

palerider wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 8:20 am Lady Pale sadly lost her Dad at the weekend and has gone back north to where they eat babies to sort out Sir Rupert's estate and evict all the serfs. She reckons she'll be gone for a month which is all very nice but what does a chap do to offload in the meantime ?

Has anyone ever tried dating sites ?

There's one now for over 50's. Does that mean both participants or just me ?

And how does 'Dirty Old cunt seeks bint who scrubs up well in her 30's for month-long boning and is comfortable with ironing' sound ?

Or should I be more honest ?

Looks like there’s plenty of totty on the school run thread

palerider wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 8:20 am Lady Pale sadly lost her Dad at the weekend and has gone back north to where they eat babies to sort out Sir Rupert's estate and evict all the serfs. She reckons she'll be gone for a month which is all very nice but what does a chap do to offload in the meantime ?

Has anyone ever tried dating sites ?

There's one now for over 50's. Does that mean both participants or just me ?

And how does 'Dirty Old cunt seeks bint who scrubs up well in her 30's for month-long boning and is comfortable with ironing' sound ?

Or should I be more honest ?

Brookbonds73 wrote: ↑Fri May 14, 2021 10:12 am

palerider wrote: ↑Thu May 13, 2021 8:20 am Lady Pale sadly lost her Dad at the weekend and has gone back north to where they eat babies to sort out Sir Rupert's estate and evict all the serfs. She reckons she'll be gone for a month which is all very nice but what does a chap do to offload in the meantime ?

Has anyone ever tried dating sites ?

There's one now for over 50's. Does that mean both participants or just me ?

And how does 'Dirty Old cunt seeks bint who scrubs up well in her 30's for month-long boning and is comfortable with ironing' sound ?

Or should I be more honest ?

Sincere condolences to the good woman Sir P.
But needs must as they say.
I use a fair few discreet sites when Lady BB is out and it must be said the services provided are excellent.
Muck chuckers is very good, offering nude ironing, bathing and strangulation. Their deluxe package offers sword fighting after dinner, fisting, using kitchen utensils and three in a bed with a horse called Jim.
Lady Tiffin is also marvellous and can supply a bint at short notice, they're doing a special at the moment which involves ironing, cleaning, and suffocation for the more mature fellows amongst us.
Tripe making munters, provide huge beasts of women who will hoover and mop all day long and the best part is, they don't mind if you actually murder them in the sexual activities that follow.
I have a few buried out the back and I must say my fuscias have never looked so good.
It's a dilemma my good man, but fear not. Sir. BB is with you.

palerider wrote: ↑Fri May 14, 2021 12:58 pm

Brookbonds73 wrote: ↑Fri May 14, 2021 10:12 am

Sincere condolences to the good woman Sir P.
But needs must as they say.
I use a fair few discreet sites when Lady BB is out and it must be said the services provided are excellent.
Muck chuckers is very good, offering nude ironing, bathing and strangulation. Their deluxe package offers sword fighting after dinner, fisting, using kitchen utensils and three in a bed with a horse called Jim.
Lady Tiffin is also marvellous and can supply a bint at short notice, they're doing a special at the moment which involves ironing, cleaning, and suffocation for the more mature fellows amongst us.
Tripe making munters, provide huge beasts of women who will hoover and mop all day long and the best part is, they don't mind if you actually murder them in the sexual activities that follow.
I have a few buried out the back and I must say my fuscias have never looked so good.
It's a dilemma my good man, but fear not. Sir. BB is with you.

Thank you for the kind words and tips my learned friend. I'll miss Sir Rupert, cantankerous old cunt that he was, but he took a shine to me as he finally managed to offload Lady P after years of trying. It's not easy sharing the mansion with a homicidal maniac with an eye for the drinks cabinet. She blamed him for murdering her mother you see despite the fact it was clearly an accident that she got in the way of a claw hammer.

I've registered with 'Swallow your mess Sir ?', an upmarket site that befits my station. Expensive but attractive Hungarian ladies, no stranger to the kitchen and the ironing board will arrive at your door within two hours. Back-scuttle and jizz removal all part of the service followed by a hearty goulash.

Irena is due at 4. If it doesn't go well I'll try a couple of your sites.

Adieu.