Jesse Lingard - Another Moyes cock up

[Ibbyham]

Another tabloid, Sir?

I don't give a monkey, Sir.

Move on, Sir.

You will chase numbers right off this forum with caustic wit like this Ibbs. You definitely possess future moderator potential You just need to let yourself truly go...

Cheers mate, if numbers annoyed anyone, I can annoyed him as he is a waste spacer clown who haven't got any idea at all.

[Whiskyman]

Whilst he started well he did tail off when clubs sussed us out, I will concede he does make us a better football team but he is far from the be all and end all.

Can't disagree with that. He may have resurrected his Man United career, doubt if we'd have finished 6th without his input. Win/Win.

But move on now. Pereira of West Brom would be a decent replacement imo. And cheaper probably.

[palerider]

Whilst he started well he did tail off when clubs sussed us out, I will concede he does make us a better football team but he is far from the be all and end all.

Can't disagree with that. He may have resurrected his Man United career, doubt if we'd have finished 6th without his input. Win/Win.

But move on now. Pereira of West Brom would be a decent replacement imo. And cheaper probably.

I reckon there's more chance of me winning the lottery than us signing Pereira.

And I don't even buy a ticket.

[Whiskyman]

Can't disagree with that. He may have resurrected his Man United career, doubt if we'd have finished 6th without his input. Win/Win.

But move on now. Pereira of West Brom would be a decent replacement imo. And cheaper probably.

I reckon there's more chance of me winning the lottery than us signing Pereira.

And I don't even buy a ticket.

You are probably right. No, fuck it, of course you're bloody right. But a close analysis of what I said will reveal that I am merely expressing an opinion that he would be a good option. Like yourself I have supported this shambles of a club for many years and endured numerous kicks in the cojones along the way. I know better, from bitter experience, than to say "we should go for" ---insert name here--- .

But, fear not. I am sure that as we speak the dwarf , and the fruit of his loins, are scouring the lists of freebies and cast offs from around the globe. It seems we have welcomed into the fold a goalkeeper who was deemed not good enough for Glasgow Rangers and I am sure his future footballing development is in capable hands. Hopefully he will be sent out on loan to some windswept field in mid Essex to gain experience with Earls Colne Eagles or similar to prepare him for the glittering career that undoubtedly awaits him.

Chin up my good man, our transfer strategy will , as is customary, be revealed on deadline day when a veritable plethora of emerging talent will be unveiled at the eleventh hour just before the window, in best tabloid fashion, slams shut.

[palerider]

I reckon there's more chance of me winning the lottery than us signing Pereira.

And I don't even buy a ticket.

You are probably right. No, fuck it, of course you're bloody right. But a close analysis of what I said will reveal that I am merely expressing an opinion that he would be a good option. Like yourself I have supported this shambles of a club for many years and endured numerous kicks in the cojones along the way. I know better, from bitter experience, than to say "we should go for" ---insert name here--- .

But, fear not. I am sure that as we speak the dwarf , and the fruit of his loins, are scouring the lists of freebies and cast offs from around the globe. It seems we have welcomed into the fold a goalkeeper who was deemed not good enough for Glasgow Rangers and I am sure his future footballing development is in capable hands. Hopefully he will be sent out on loan to some windswept field in mid Essex to gain experience with Earls Colne Eagles or similar to prepare him for the glittering career that undoubtedly awaits him.

Chin up my good man, our transfer strategy will , as is customary, be revealed on deadline day when a veritable plethora of emerging talent will be unveiled at the eleventh hour just before the window, in best tabloid fashion, slams shut.

A tried and trusted ploy for the dwarf.

1 Identify a player as your main target.
2 Leak snippets to the media how difficult negotiations are.
3 Keep quiet about any alternative until the day before the wondow ends without making any bids at all for the main target.
4 On deadline day tell the world and his wife how arkward the selling club were and said player was ALWAYS the main target.
5 Sign a lazy fat Bulgarian out of contract.


I'll give an example. If some of it is not right I hold my hands up but I think I'm on the right lines.

The Payet season. The last good one we had before the one just gone. The dwarf had the chance to invest and build. For weeks, speculation about a striker was rife and that masked man was Alexandre Lacazette.

Who didn't want to join. But it wasn't made clear until late in the knockings. I reckon the dwarf knew full well we wouldn't sign him from the off. But he kept shtum. We could have got Benteke who wanted to come. Whether or not he'd have been any good is not the point. He'd have cost money.

So late in the day we sign Zaza on loan.

[Brookbonds73]

You are probably right. No, fuck it, of course you're bloody right. But a close analysis of what I said will reveal that I am merely expressing an opinion that he would be a good option. Like yourself I have supported this shambles of a club for many years and endured numerous kicks in the cojones along the way. I know better, from bitter experience, than to say "we should go for" ---insert name here--- .

But, fear not. I am sure that as we speak the dwarf , and the fruit of his loins, are scouring the lists of freebies and cast offs from around the globe. It seems we have welcomed into the fold a goalkeeper who was deemed not good enough for Glasgow Rangers and I am sure his future footballing development is in capable hands. Hopefully he will be sent out on loan to some windswept field in mid Essex to gain experience with Earls Colne Eagles or similar to prepare him for the glittering career that undoubtedly awaits him.

Chin up my good man, our transfer strategy will , as is customary, be revealed on deadline day when a veritable plethora of emerging talent will be unveiled at the eleventh hour just before the window, in best tabloid fashion, slams shut.

A tried and trusted ploy for the dwarf.

1 Identify a player as your main target.
2 Leak snippets to the media how difficult negotiations are.
3 Keep quiet about any alternative until the day before the wondow ends.
4 On deadline day tell the world and his wife how arkward the selling club were and said player was ALWAYS the main target.
5 Sign a lazy fat Bulgarian out of contract.

I'm not getting rid of Elena. She's a buxom wench with all the attributes a man could wish for.
She's got a good hairy back, she's up for a good back scuttling, she can take a punch and is a dab hand at bricklaying.
If the dwarf wants her, he can fuck right off.

[Whiskyman]

You are probably right. No, fuck it, of course you're bloody right. But a close analysis of what I said will reveal that I am merely expressing an opinion that he would be a good option. Like yourself I have supported this shambles of a club for many years and endured numerous kicks in the cojones along the way. I know better, from bitter experience, than to say "we should go for" ---insert name here--- .

But, fear not. I am sure that as we speak the dwarf , and the fruit of his loins, are scouring the lists of freebies and cast offs from around the globe. It seems we have welcomed into the fold a goalkeeper who was deemed not good enough for Glasgow Rangers and I am sure his future footballing development is in capable hands. Hopefully he will be sent out on loan to some windswept field in mid Essex to gain experience with Earls Colne Eagles or similar to prepare him for the glittering career that undoubtedly awaits him.

Chin up my good man, our transfer strategy will , as is customary, be revealed on deadline day when a veritable plethora of emerging talent will be unveiled at the eleventh hour just before the window, in best tabloid fashion, slams shut.

A tried and trusted ploy for the dwarf.

1 Identify a player as your main target.
2 Leak snippets to the media how difficult negotiations are.
3 Keep quiet about any alternative until the day before the wondow ends without making any bids at all for the main target.
4 On deadline day tell the world and his wife how arkward the selling club were and said player was ALWAYS the main target.
5 Sign a lazy fat Bulgarian out of contract.

But in fairness to our revered and much beloved vertically challenged owner why should he change his tried and trusted methods ? As you say the format is remarkably similar every year and the great unwashed flock in their hordes to snap up their season tickets, fearful that if the miss the deadline, the millions of people on the waiting lists will come crashing along to snap up any shortfall.

The dwarf has repeatedly proved that Abraham Lincoln got it wrong. It is possible to fool all (or at least most of them) the people all the time.

If they are West Ham season ticket holders that is.

[palerider]

A tried and trusted ploy for the dwarf.

1 Identify a player as your main target.
2 Leak snippets to the media how difficult negotiations are.
3 Keep quiet about any alternative until the day before the wondow ends.
4 On deadline day tell the world and his wife how arkward the selling club were and said player was ALWAYS the main target.
5 Sign a lazy fat Bulgarian out of contract.

I'm not getting rid of Elena. She's a buxom wench with all the attributes a man could wish for.
She's got a good hairy back, she's up for a good back scuttling, she can take a punch and is a dab hand at bricklaying.
If the dwarf wants her, he can fuck right off.

Money talks my learned friend.

Dribbly has found a 1935 fiver in his closet and previously unseen footage of the Duchess and Mark Noble's dogs at Rush Green is being put on DVD along with a half price voucher for any Kwikfit tyre under a tenner.

[Brookbonds73]

A tried and trusted ploy for the dwarf.

1 Identify a player as your main target.
2 Leak snippets to the media how difficult negotiations are.
3 Keep quiet about any alternative until the day before the wondow ends without making any bids at all for the main target.
4 On deadline day tell the world and his wife how arkward the selling club were and said player was ALWAYS the main target.
5 Sign a lazy fat Bulgarian out of contract.

But in fairness to our revered and much beloved vertically challenged owner why should he change his tried and trusted methods ? As you say the format is remarkably similar every year and the great unwashed flock in their hordes to snap up their season tickets, fearful that if the miss the deadline, the millions of people on the waiting lists will come crashing along to snap up any shortfall.

The dwarf has repeatedly proved that Abraham Lincoln got it wrong. It is possible to fool all (or at least most of them) the people all the time.

If they are West Ham season ticket holders that is.

You mean to tell me that I've spent 25k on season tickets for nothing?
Surely seeing us bow out to a Romanian 4th division side is worth the money, so I can at least say I was there, is it not?
And let's not forget, they saved us ya know and they are fans.
Shame on you sir.

[eskimo joe]

What a bucket full of shit...his brain is stuck in the same gear and is so slow its still in the past. Cant come up with anything remotely original to read so continues with what he knows how to do best.