Woy Hodgson has been taken ill at Palace!
Hurry up you scotch cunt and get down there a bit lively.
You can try and keep them up, they need your expertise and guidance.
Then next season when you're in the championship you can build a squad, maybe you can poach Fabs and Oggy from us. Take Nolan with you, he loves a challenge.
And if you really need a helping hand take Noble as well, he knows the championship inside out.
Clocks ticking David, Woy's a 165 years old now and them ultras are getting restless.
Forget Europe Dave, we'll be out as soon as we draw someone decent and drop like a whores draws in the league anyway with a goal difference of minus 40, so what's to stay for!
I shouldn't be telling you this David, but seeing that you won us THAT trophy, here's a scoop. Big David, you know, the one that summons you to his office and makes your botty bleed and keeps shooting jiz in to your eyeballs. He's lining up Tony fucking Pulis to take your place, the ungrateful cunt!!!!
I know it'll be a wrench, but at least we can say you've done all you can. Getting rid of that useless cunt Fornals, always fucking whining and threatening suicide, and that other cunt Benny throwing a strop when you gave him the odd 30 seconds here and there, was fucking genius in my book. Ok you may have made a bid of a mess with Kral, but he's assured me there's no hard feelings now he's been promoted to head chipper at that Macdonalds in Basildon.
Get down there David, don't hang around mate, Woy's on his way out me old fruit.
Time is of the essence!!!