Thought I'd pop down to the market earlier on as I've run out of brake fluid. I was no sooner out of the car when I was accosted by a bloke carrying a tray of food. Naturally I assumed the attack pose, tazer in one hand and sword in the other ( I'd left the crossbow in the car)
"Would you like to try a avocado and cinnamon bake" he asked.
" Are you a transvestite?" I replied.
He looked somewhat bemused.
" You've obviously got erectile dysfunction problems and have never been near a woman or any farmyard animals, have you"! I said.
" Are you mental" he countered.
" Absolutely, I shouldn't be out at all, but I am and there lies your problem. You see my young wokish friend, if you had said, a sausage roll, a ham sandwich or cup of char, I wouldn't be thinking about removing your cranium from your shoulders, capishe?
"Now run along there's a good woke, and try your salmonella on someone else, but know this!
If I should see you again, I will feed you to Gertrude my pot bellied pig, take a blowtorch to your mother, and more than likely, burn your house down"
The absolute nerve of some people!
