Hammers Chat

palerider wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 3:40 pm I do these exercises every day. They keep me svelte and George Clooney-like. However, I overdid it and put my back out. And it fucking hurts.

So the next time I hear some powdered-up tart whinging about the agony of bringing little Kevin into the world I'm going to take a bike chain to her. It's nothing compared to what I'm going through, bravely I might add, and without moaning, as hay fever season's started too.

They don't understand. It's why we have to go to the pub until midnight to deaden the pain.


I've got some industrial strength cocodamol which helped last night especially with a hot lemon, whisky and swarfega mix. Which I manfully made myself. Without complaint.


Don't know they're born.

Brookbonds73 wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 4:59 pm

palerider wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 3:40 pm I do these exercises every day. They keep me svelte and George Clooney-like. However, I overdid it and put my back out. And it fucking hurts.

So the next time I hear some powdered-up tart whinging about the agony of bringing little Kevin into the world I'm going to take a bike chain to her. It's nothing compared to what I'm going through, bravely I might add, and without moaning, as hay fever season's started too.

They don't understand. It's why we have to go to the pub until midnight to deaden the pain.


I've got some industrial strength cocodamol which helped last night especially with a hot lemon, whisky and swarfega mix. Which I manfully made myself. Without complaint.


Don't know they're born.

A horrendous act my good man.
I to manage a workout to keep my Cary Grant looks, but no thanks to the young hussey on view. Parading around in a tea towel. I've used tubs of voltarol just to keep myself lithe, while the pipe cleaner gallops around bending herself in to all shapes. It's turned me in to a raving alcoholic and I've spent a fortune on red diesel. I may have to hunt down the young heretic and set Horace the ravenous pot bellied pig on her.
She'll be sorry then!

By the way there seems to be a slanderous act ongoing in the remaining games thread. I've got my best man on the case.
The game is a afoot my good fellow!

palerider wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:47 pm

Brookbonds73 wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 4:59 pm


A horrendous act my good man.
I to manage a workout to keep my Cary Grant looks, but no thanks to the young hussey on view. Parading around in a tea towel. I've used tubs of voltarol just to keep myself lithe, while the pipe cleaner gallops around bending herself in to all shapes. It's turned me in to a raving alcoholic and I've spent a fortune on red diesel. I may have to hunt down the young heretic and set Horace the ravenous pot bellied pig on her.
She'll be sorry then!

By the way there seems to be a slanderous act ongoing in the remaining games thread. I've got my best man on the case.
The game is a afoot my good fellow!

Thank you for bringing this to my attention my learned friend.

Scoundrels !! Don't they realise I was there at the White Horse final complete with rattle ? Know nothing about West Ham ?!?

My chap from the colonies, Hubert Q McYankee has been instructed. Never lost a case. They'll be sent to Gitmo, after birching of course. Waterboarding daily at noon.

And they should be grateful it won't be worse.

Newmarket wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 6:31 pm

palerider wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 5:47 pm

Thank you for bringing this to my attention my learned friend.

Scoundrels !! Don't they realise I was there at the White Horse final complete with rattle ? Know nothing about West Ham ?!?

My chap from the colonies, Hubert Q McYankee has been instructed. Never lost a case. They'll be sent to Gitmo, after birching of course. Waterboarding daily at noon.

And they should be grateful it won't be worse.

Ahhhh yes . You can take the man out of Barking ...

Did you know , I wandered into the Flyhouse the other day and asked the young buxom Polish wench behind the ramp for a Pale Ale .

The saucy cunt said “he’s fucked off to Zummetset” ...

I said Cunt ...

palerider wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 7:52 pm

Newmarket wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 6:31 pm

Ahhhh yes . You can take the man out of Barking ...

Did you know , I wandered into the Flyhouse the other day and asked the young buxom Polish wench behind the ramp for a Pale Ale .

The saucy cunt said “he’s fucked off to Zummetset” ...

I said Cunt ...

Trotskyites ? In the Oak ?

Glad I left.

palerider wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 3:40 pm I do these exercises every day. They keep me svelte and George Clooney-like. However, I overdid it and put my back out. And it fucking hurts.

So the next time I hear some powdered-up tart whinging about the agony of bringing little Kevin into the world I'm going to take a bike chain to her. It's nothing compared to what I'm going through, bravely I might add, and without moaning, as hay fever season's started too.

They don't understand. It's why we have to go to the pub until midnight to deaden the pain.


I've got some industrial strength cocodamol which helped last night especially with a hot lemon, whisky and swarfega mix. Which I manfully made myself. Without complaint.


Don't know they're born.

BCHammer wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 4:28 pm

palerider wrote: ↑Thu Mar 18, 2021 3:40 pm I do these exercises every day. They keep me svelte and George Clooney-like. However, I overdid it and put my back out. And it fucking hurts.

So the next time I hear some powdered-up tart whinging about the agony of bringing little Kevin into the world I'm going to take a bike chain to her. It's nothing compared to what I'm going through, bravely I might add, and without moaning, as hay fever season's started too.

They don't understand. It's why we have to go to the pub until midnight to deaden the pain.


I've got some industrial strength cocodamol which helped last night especially with a hot lemon, whisky and swarfega mix. Which I manfully made myself. Without complaint.


Don't know they're born.

Then a year later they want another one - if it was that bad, it would not be so.

Cant see you asking for another back out - or a kick in the nuts which is also very bad. Proof enough they dont know they're born.

palerider wrote: ↑Tue Mar 23, 2021 9:58 am

BCHammer wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 4:28 pm

Then a year later they want another one - if it was that bad, it would not be so.

Cant see you asking for another back out - or a kick in the nuts which is also very bad. Proof enough they dont know they're born.

Indeed.

Would I turn over at 4am and whisper 'I'd like to try for another week of agony' to Lady P ?

The back's on the mend thanks to rest, pain killers, alcohol and Pornhub, but once again the real troopers get forgotten about just like when I had man-flu in December which is real and deadly btw and was just told to 'get on with it'.